Today

As I lay here, suicidal, 

All I can think about is you.

Do you remember when you used to try to count my pills to make sure I didn’t overdose? Or even try to?

Or when I’d cry and you’d just rub my back and lay with me 

Or the thousands of questions? 

I hated the questions.

I hated when you couldn’t just let me cry. 

Or let me feel what I’m feeling. 

I didn’t greatly want to die,

I just wanted it to be over. 

All of it. 

But, none of it. 

I wanted to be able to breathe again and not feel the weight on my chest. 

I wanted to be able to love again without feeling like my love wasn’t enough 

I wanted to go out and do things without feeling like everything around me is too much. 

I wanted so much but I had so little to give 

But did I? 

Laura Soriano