Abuse

I remember the day after it happened 

You called me to check on me

To check on my vacation 

And I cried about going home 

But when you asked me why 

I didn’t have a reason 

I just cried

And wanted to go home 

No reason meant I was staying

I cried some more

Everyone thought I was just being a baby 

But I felt alike and afraid 

So for the next few days I was molested 

Every morning when everyone was asleep

Or Everytime I sat next to him on the couch 

Or every time I was left alone with him 

I cried. 

I began to hate myself 

My family 

You 

I never wanted to be alone again 

Being alone meant that I was vulnerable 

It meant I could hurt 

So Everytime you left me alone,

I hated you 

I felt like you wanted me to get hurt

Like you didn’t care,

But how could you know?

After a while,

It didn’t only happen when I was alone 

I mean, he only had so many chances to touch me

That’s when I learned that even around people,

I wasn’t safe

Then came the phone calls,

He’d call the family to check in

But when it was my turn he’d tell me about all the things he wanted to do to me

And me to him 

That’s when I started hating the phone

That’s when I started to hate your family

That’s when I learned that only I can keep myself safe 

That’s when I started to blame myself for my abuse

6/14/19 Renacidos Laura