Skip to main content

Living

Every morning I wake up and have one moment of pure bliss
One very short moment of happiness
A moment where everything is the way it’s supposed to be
But then I remember
I remember every bad thing that has happened 
I remember that you’re gone 
I remember the reasons we broke up
I remember the stress from the night before
From a few weeks
Shit, from the future
I remember my trauma
Sometimes, I even have flashbacks
I remember that where I am at today is the result of my own choices
Choices I made based on the circumstance I was in
The head space
The pressure
The potential
Choices I made because I thought I knew what was best
I also remember the good moments
The happy-exciting-super fucking fabulous moments
And I smile
Then I cry
Because the pain is still there.
I can’t wait to wake up one morning and revel in the blissful moment
I can’t wait until that short moment because a long moment
Which then becomes a familiar feeling
And then before I know it,
The pain has subsided and I’m living again
I’m actually fucking living
I can’t wait to live again.
I just want to fucking live again


Renacidas Laura

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Better to have loved....

Fall in love they said  It’ll be great they said   But no one ever tells you about the things that aren’t great No one ever tells you that some days you’ll want to punch your significant other in the throat or even in the face.  Some days you’ll want to poke them in the eyes in their sleep.  Or some days you’ll ask yourself why did you choose them?  It’s usually after they do some stupid shit like drop pizza on your white sheets. No one ever tells you that it’s okay to fight, A fight doesn’t mean it’s over.  Sometimes it’s a good thing. No one ever tells you that some days you won’t want to talk to each other, It’s okay, sometimes you need space. No ever tells you to fully commit, put your fears aside and just love  They always say be careful, you can’t trust anyone you know. So you keep your guard up.  No one ever tells you that it’s okay to not be all over social media.  It doesn’t mean he isn’t claiming you...
Post a Comment
Read more

I fucked up

If I had a time machine id go back in time  Not way back in time  But to the times when I woke up to your angry morning face every morning  Or the times where I'd find you staring at me, I'd ask what and you would tell me how beautiful I was.  Even when we fought, you never failed to forget to remind me of my beauty  I would go back to the time when you sang bob marleys "is this love" to me in a room full of people You asked me to dance, I said no But if I could go back We wouldn't have gotten off the dance floor  I would want to go back to the first day you ever told me you loved me. I brushed it off because I didn't want you to think I was making a big deal about it, But inside I was doing my James Brown dance.  I would go back to the times where I spent my spare time watching Netflix and getting high with you everydayu I would go back to the times when you would hold me close to you every night  And the times when ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Real Love

Love is not blind. Love is not rainbows and sunshine’s. Love is not easy. It’s not simple. Love is, your morning breath smells like dead animals but I love you anyway.  (Now come here and give me a kiss you little possum) Love is, I only have $5 to spend so let’s share a 4 for 4 (I’ll take the nuggets, you get the sandwich) Love is, waking up early to make your lunch for work even though I’m tired as hell and don’t even make my own lunch (I’ll probably come home at 7pm starving) Love is, making me food when we just had a full out brawl (Your fatass hungry or what?) Love is going to bed with each other after a long day of fighting and saying I love you, goodnight. (Laying in bed with you was my favorite part of the day) Love is, staying home with you even though I want to go out  (I know you be obsessed with me) Love is, watching you sleep and thinking about suffocating you. (But not Everytime)  Love is, feeling insecure a...
Post a Comment
Read more